Two boat boys on the same wifi network, taking on the world. But now Tim’s at my house for the big event. I’ve drawn this whole thing out, though: we played World of Tanks first, then World of Warplanes, just so I could understand the obsession better. But I relented, finally, inevitably, a couple of months ago. I ignored them for a while – I was busy, or I was playing PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, or I was cutting my nails. Then the British basically seeded all this misinformation that there was a much bigger fleet out there so the Germans scuttled it. “The Graf Spee crippled the heavy cruiser,” Tim continues, “but it got damaged in the fight so it had to make port in Argentina. “There he is.” I ask Tim to finish the story. The VI ADMIRAL GRAF SPEE bobs in the river, a sight that would’ve been fucking terrifying to the locals if it had actually happened. I’m booted back to my Port, which is the River Thames (the latest World of Warships update is Royal Navy-themed). “The goods purchased will soon be added to your game account. “GREAT CHOICE,” says the Premium Shop as it siphons $32 out of my bank account. The Graf Spee engaged and a fierce battle commenced. Tim tells me about how the German cruiser Admiral Graf Spee came face-to-face with two British cruisers and a New Zealand cruiser named HMS Achilles (“tempting fate,” I joke) off the coast of Uruguay. If you want to spend up large, there’s a trio of ships available for the eye-watering price of $188.77. You can pay $95.19 for the French Gascogne, a Tier VIII “Mehbote”, according to the anime girl in this review – “could’ve been worse.” Or you could pick up the USS Massachusetts, more reasonably priced at $76.95. They’re all big, and they’ve all got big price tags.
“Uh, the name’s familiar.” I’m scrolling through the Premium Shop in World of Warships, looking at boats. “Have you heard of the Battle of the River Plate?” Adam Goodall takes the plunge into World of Warships. He’s driven tanks, he’s flown planes – now he’s ready to sail ships into war.
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